


The Longest Year

by arewedancers



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Make Up, Sad but things get better, Vague
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 16:39:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5341100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arewedancers/pseuds/arewedancers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan comes back after (close to) a year</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Longest Year

**Author's Note:**

> I never specify why they broke up, so that can be up to you. I don't even really hint at anything, except at one point Phil mentions how he hurt Dan. Take that as you will. Could be seen as something around 2012 if you want it to be. Like a memory of near the end of 2012 if Dan left and came back..? I could be wrong. A lot of this can be just what you imagine.

“PHIL! PHIL OPEN UP!”

They hadn’t seen each other in close to a year when Dan came knocking on his door one night. He couldn’t say he was surprised when it happened. He couldn’t say that he hadn’t wanted it to happen. It had been close to a year since Dan left, and it had been close to a year that he had waited for him to come back. When he opened the door and saw Dan’s face his hands had started shaking, and now, years later, he still wasn’t sure they had stopped. 

“We need to talk.” Was the first sentence that was said; the one that broke the silence that had settled over both of their hearts for far to long. “God, Phil, we need to talk.”   
Numbness had settled over his lips and throat but god they needed to talk and why hadn’t they done that before? He nodded jerkily, reached out for the face he had missed, but something stopped him before he had reached it. 

Dan shuffled in the doorway with hands in his pockets and eyes on the floor and maybe that’s what had made it so hard to touch him. He was distant and far away and even though he was right there it was like he wasn’t there at all. “Can I come in?”   
They walked inside the flat that looked like it hadn’t been lived in. It hadn’t felt like home to him until Dan had walked in and that’s when he knew home wasn’t a place it was a person. It was soft brown eyes and crooked smiles. It was dimples and laughter. Home was a collection of sounds that he hadn’t heard for so long it was like he had gone deaf. Home was one voice, one body, one person that so casually walked through the door after being gone so long Phil wasn’t sure he would ever have a home again. 

“I like your flat, it’s nice. I mean, not as nice as ours but—“ Dan stopped, reconsidered his words, cringed at the thought of “ours” because it hadn’t been “ours” in so long could they even call it that anymore? 

“It’s been a year, Dan.” 

“I- I know.” 

They stared from across a space so big, so deep, so close to the edge. It was in that moment they both became aware of how big that distance really was, and how hard it would be to cross it if that was even the reason Dan had come that night. 

“It’s just… I haven’t been able to sleep. I haven’t been able to eat. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what happened. How fast it happened. How much I didn’t want it to happen. How stupid I was to let it happen. And you. You. You. You. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

He had stared, enthralled, as the words poured from Dan’s mouth in a waterfall of emotion. His breathing had been jagged and his words had been choked. He had been holding back tears and it was in that moment Phil had finally started to feel his heart break because he hadn’t meant to hurt this beautiful boy in front of him and that just meant he could hurt him again and again because no matter what he would keep coming back. It might take hours, days, weeks, or even years but he would come back. Phil had known it all along and to see him, hear him, and smell him once again had been too much. It had almost been like a ghost standing in front of him’ impossible, crazy even, but hard to deny. 

“What does this mean?” This had been the hardest question to ask, and the hardest question to answer, out of all the questions asked that night. Harder than all the whys the how’s and the how longs. They spent hours after that one question had been asked trying to figure it out. 

“It means I love you. And I always will. Even if you don’t love me.” 

And Phil had finally felt the barrier break between them and as the distance disappeared he had reached out and touched the face that had haunted him for almost a year. His fingers had traced the curve of his cheek. They had sloped down into the dimple that was always around. They traced the lips he had never been able to drown out the taste of. “I do. I do love you.” Whispered quietly but bravely because no words had ever meant so much as those words did then. 

It was for the first time in close to a year that they slept together that night. They slept close together, skin touching skin with no intention of ever letting go. It had been the longest close to a year they had ever lived through, and they had no intentions of ever living through it again.


End file.
